Well, most of you will have noticed that normal service hasn't actually been the order of the day here for a while... However, having just had a chat with my agent, I now feel a bit better. I think she's managed to talk me down [or maybe up] from a very, very severe and crippling case of author paranoia... and now I feel a tad more positive about things. Writing is a v. lonely business and it's dangerously easy to slip into feelings of powerlessness and negativity due to the downs and downs of the writerly life. I've been sliding downhill for a couple of weeks now, due to things I've heard, and things I've started to imagine, and the tin hat on it all was having a short story rejected. Now, the ed. said that even though he liked it, and thought the set up was interesting, he felt the ending was contrived, and my agent said it wasn't one of my best either... but I love the bloody thing! I think it's warm and romantic and funny and positive... and it gives me a fuzzy happy feeling to read it back. Trouble is, I think it's just too 'nice' really, too feelgood... not cutting edge or innovative or anything like that, and foolishly, I'd given it a very funny but impactful title and I wouldn't be surprised if that's what subconsciously put the mockers on it! Anyway, it can't be all that bad if I actually like it so much myself, and I'm cautiously optimistic that one day I'll find a different home for it.
Any road up, after my chat with my agent, I feel as if I've recovered my direction a bit better... and it helps too that she says she thinks I'm as good a writer as ever, and that if I hang in there, and don't allow myself to fall prey to doubts and fears, I'll achieve my goals. It just takes a while...
Telly: nothing yet
Chocolate: Ritter Marzipan
Writing: nothing yet, but have goals
Reading: my humongous nPower bill... omigod!!!!!
RSI: quite sore in various places